Permission To Be “New” And Imperfect In 2019


We hear so many complaints about the unrealistic expectations created by the media about our physical appearance and or social status but the much needed conversation about the pursuit of perfectionism in the realm of self-love is often a conversation held among like minded community members and not publicized nearly as much the image of perfection is. So as 2019 approaches let this be your sign or written decree that you do not need to be perfect to pursue your goals. 

Self-love and improvement is not always flawlessly executed. This is your confirmation that in the midst of stressful days and slow mornings you owe it to yourself to stay the course of your goals regardless of how your execution may look.


  1. Don’t compare your starting point to someone else’s middle point. Basically don’t be afraid to start slow and honor where you are in your journey. Baby steps are still steps and sometimes it makes the journey more satisfying when you end up improving a lot. 

athletic african american woman celebrating reaching top of runyon canyon with arms open


2.  Don’t talk yourself into stopping before you start because your “mind isn’t right.” There will be times that you feel distracted. Consider it an honor to work for yourself even in those moments the same way you would for your job or a fortune 500 company that you would consider it an honor to work for. You are worthy of your own honor.

3. Don’t be afraid to start over. There is nothing wrong with hitting reset. Don’t take it as a mark of defeat. Take it as a victory because you are still willing to stay committed to your goals. As cliche of a saying as it may be, it is very true that the only real failure exists in giving up completely. Don’t give up. Start over as many times as necessary.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     via GIPHY

4. Remember! You are your biggest hater. This is possibly the most avoided truth on any self-discovery journey. It falls into line with the idea that the same people who doubt you are inclined to doubt you just as much as you doubt yourself. The reason you might be so deeply offended by their doubt is because it all might be a reflection of how you see yourself. This isn’t saying that you “want” to doubt yourself. A lot of times it takes so long to notice and accept because it is a subconscious choice taught to us over the course of our life. Think of it in terms of the lessons you learned as a child. You are born believing you are limitless and magical even and overtime the adults in our life and even our peers are the ones who speak to us of limitations. We are all guilty of accepting those limitations and we begin to try to identify all the ways that we are limited. The super scary truth is that you are limitless. And the opinions of the rare “hater” species won’t offend you once you learn to stop hating on yourself. Via M. Will The Artist

5. Accept that you are unique. While this is similar to number one it doesn’t hurt to say it again but differently. It is ok to be inspired by others but understand that details of your journey will not look the same for you as it does for someone else. 

Black woman enjoying the ocean view until waves come


6. The hardest piece of advice, accept that you already are everything you want to be. The only job you really have is nurturing what is already there to reflect whatever quality you to embody.


If you take nothing else from this short list, take this detail  you have permission to allow your journey to be uniquely yours. It won’t look like the Instagram posts that you like. Or the carefully edited YouTube videos you watch. Your journey will be real and yours. It will be imperfect and that is ok. Give your desires and yourself the respect they deserve by not abandoning them. 

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